That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
