so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
