In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
