I love black thongs
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
