how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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