whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
