even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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