I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
