On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
