love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
