I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
