he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
His nipple licking is glorious
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