Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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