I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
