its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
