ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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