Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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