i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Still dying that you shit outside
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
