Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
