btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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