i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
