It's Friday. Sex?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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