real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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