i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
