Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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