There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
