the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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