We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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