i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
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