Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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