Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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