Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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