Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
