so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
