So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I said "one day" and that day is not today
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
