What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
