I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Randomize
