how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
