Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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