i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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