It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
