sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
