Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I feel great
I just peed on a car
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Randomize
