Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
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