Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
