i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
