i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
