You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
