: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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