Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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