Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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